My paternal grandmother had an interesting gift. She could look at a small child and see their inner world. She said this to my parents when I was born: this child has a very sensitive nervous system. She can feel more than most people, therefore it is very important to give her a feeling of safety and balance at home.
What my grandmother meant, was that I was born open energetically, my regular senses and my psychic senses were not only developed but they lacked natural protective filters. This meant that my experience of the world would be much brighter, louder, hectic, colorful, painful, confusing, really confusing…
Now we call people such as myself – empaths, people who can feel the emotions of other people as if they were their own. But for me, being an empath is much more than simply feeling things. I hear more sounds, see more shapes and colors than the average person. My world is ever moving, ever changing and if I am to survive and prosper in this world, I have to be a curious, informed, and a non-judgmental observer of the human experience. Otherwise, I’ll simply get lost in the chaos.
I knew I was different even as a child, it was not a good thing or a bad thing, it simply fueled my curiosity. The world and people in it did not naturally make sense to me and that was amazing, because I enjoyed figuring out. I learned to look at not what’s in front of me, but rather why it is there and most importantly, how it came to be so. Growing up in the Soviet Union, under communist propaganda made me even more determined to see the truth behind people words, actions and choices.
I remember sitting in my high school history class and wondering, what is it about this particular teacher that makes him so good? How is he able to hold my interest and make learning US history so exciting? I asked myself this question for many years and only after studying spirituality and metaphysics was I able to answer this question.
The answer was simple: this teacher loved us – his students and he loved history. He taught through love. Of course, it helped that he was a great story teller. But words, especially to an empath, are meaningless, it is the emotion behind the words that matters.
The ultimate lesson:
Over the years, I have had many teachers who taught through love. They were school teachers, college professors, work colleagues, personal trainers, family members, friends. They are the ones who inspired me and gave me the greatest lesson, which I try to apply in every class I teach and with every client. The lesson is this: in the moment, love and accept the person that is in front of your fully, completely and unconditionally. Love and non judgement is what transforms and heals… the words, the energetic practices, the visualizations, the physical exercises are of secondary importance.
Yet, since we live in a world of words. So let me tell you more about myself.
Throughout my life, even as a small child, I felt that there must be more to life than just our five sensory experiences. When I grew up, I learned that I come from a long line of rabbis, mystics and rabbinical scholars, so it’s not surprising that I felt this connection to mysticism.
My ancestry on my father’s side has been traced to Rabbi Loeb, the creator of the Golem of Prague. When I was young, my father practiced yoga (from books as at that time there was no other way to get the information). My mother told me stories of how when she herself was in high school she was able to use her hands to remove headaches and how she had a friend who was a very powerful energy healer.
But as time passed, my dad stopped his yoga practice and my mom moved away from energy healing. By the time I was old enough to ask questions, my parents all but forgot (or perhaps were unwilling) to give me the information I was seeking. Lacking a teacher or guide, I stopped asking questions and focused on my school studies and a career in information technology.
Upon graduating college after for the next 19 years, I worked for a number of fortune 500 companies in the IT field, performing tasks similar to what a Unix Sysadmin and an Oracle DBA would do. I briefly worked as a computer programmer but I found this work too quiet. Eventually I settled in technical support where I got to utilize my prior technical knowledge to solve customer issues. Working every day with clients experiencing a technical crisis taught me excellent crisis management and people skills. My favorite part of working in IT was when I was asked to train people and to write technical documentation.
Life was good. I had a great job, friends, family, a fancy sport car, a nice house. I was never lacking for money either. I felt that there was something missing from my life (namely a deep connection to spirituality) but it did not bother me too much as everything else was awesome. Plus, I had yoga and meditation. So I wasn’t all “matrix-y.” I had life figured out.
The loss and sorrow
Then my mom passed away and my world came crashing down. I did not know what to do with the emotional overload, so I made a conscious decision to shut down. I decided to stop feeling. Logic, reason and no emotion would be my new world.
I was able to hold the pain down for two years before my body said “enough is enough.” One morning woke up to find the right side of my face paralyzed. I was 33 years old and I thought I having a stroke.
I was in shock, my mind was racing. What if I lose vision in my right eye because I cannot close my eye lid? How am I going to eat and drink when I cannot close my lips or move my tongue well? Will I lose my job because of the way a look? How am I going to go out in public? My partner and my family are going to see me and freak out! What will happen to my personal relationship with my partner?
I ran to the doctor who looked me in the eyes and said: “it’s not a stroke, it’s facial paralysis called Bells Palsy, it will take a long time to heal and the cause is: stress!”
Me? Stress? Can’t be! I have no emotions, I’m all about logic and reason!
Turns out I did have emotions, a ton of them. How could I not? I was born an empath for Goddess, sake!
But because I did not know how to deal with my emotions, for over two years I had spent every minute of every day over holding them down, ignoring them.
I realized that if I were to continue on this path to non-self, the next illness will be worse.
The next several months were extremely lonely and sad. I avoided going to stores because I did not want to explain myself and my condition. I had to drink through a straw and use my fingers to hold my lips closed so food would not fall out. I stopped seeing my friends. I even stopped talking on the phone.
The worst part was that I knew that my chances of having Bells Palsy again were pretty high.
I swore to myself that I would do everything possible to never be in this situation again.
Finding my way home
One evening when walking my dog I told the universe: “OK, I hear you and I am ready!”
That was when miracles began. I was introduced to teachers and healers and found new friends who opened up my world. The right people showed up at the right time. It was a process and it took years, but eventually I accepted myself the way I was born to be.
Eventually I left my corporate IT career, not because I was unhappy there or because I found my calling elsewhere, but because I felt I could have a more colorful and authentic experience of being a human being outside the four walls of corporate safety.
Here and now
And here I am today. Instead of troubleshooting computers, I help people troubleshoot themselves. Instead of seeing patterns within a computer system, I see patterns within the human psyche. Instead of helping build computer systems, I help build internal, organic, personal systems within one’s energetic field.
Spirit has a sense of humor, wouldn’t you agree?
Once I re opened my sixth sense and re connected with the Universal Energy, my whole life transformed and so many things in my life began to make sense.
Throughout my life, I had thought I was an emotionally sensitive person, one who is easily overwhelmed and cannot be around people for too long. I believed I had a weak nervous system and weak immunity because I needed more rest than a regular person. I thought that I would always need to plan my life and activities in a way that would allow me to get extra sleep and a lot of alone time.
Then, one day, I learned that I actually do not have a weak nervous system, nor a weak immunity, instead, I have a super power known as empathy.
I discovered that I am an empath one who can feel what people around me feel as if the feelings were my own. I understood why I had shut down my emotions after my mom died I did not know how deal with all the emotion coming at me from my outer world and from my inner world.
Once I learned how to harness this powerful tool and use it, all my need for extra rest and sleep magically dissolved. Being an empath was no longer a liability, it became a gift.
The world continued to open itself to me. The trees became greener, the sun looked brighter and the sounds became so much more vivid. The need for extra rest also went away. I could do so much more with my
The more I developed my intuition the clearer my personal and professional path became. Eventually I left my twenty year career in corporate IT and because a full time energy healer.
I am grateful for all my lessons, although I realize that they did not need to be so hard. The spirit world is there waiting to help us, all we need to do is learn how to listen and perhaps more importantly, give up the need to always go it alone.
Get in touch
If you are not ready or unsure about personal sessions, or if you re looking to learn new energy healing techniques take a look at group classes and workshops that Dina leads.