Why healers and coaches struggle to make a living
Over the last twenty years I have been a part of a healer community in one capacity or another. I have noticed a very interesting trend that on one hand is inspiring, but on another hand creates great suffering. The trend is this:
1. Person becomes “awakened”, be it through coaching, body work, plants, energy healing, intuitive reading, yoga, art, etc, etc…
2. Person feels great and wants to spread the message of love to everyone.
3. Person quits their day job and starts spreading the message. This usually happens within the first year or two of starting on this journey.
4. Person’s life falls apart, personally and financially. They spend a bulk of their time worrying how to pay rent and put food on the table.
5. In the meantime, the message of love and healing turns into a survival hunt for clients. The work becomes more of a quest on how to pay the bills rather than simply a way to witness the love and beauty within each person.
6. The clients stop coming because they sense fear, uncertainty, sadness, lack of grounding, ego. “If a person has a hard time holding space for themselves, how can they held space for me?” the client feels.
7. Everything comes crashing down.
8. This continues for years.
Why does this happen? Why is the spreading of the message of love and healing create so much suffering? Why must one sacrifice? Why must we choose between the financial comfort of the matrix and financial ruin of living in our truth?
The answer is that it does not have to be this way. We choose it because we become teachers when in all fairness we should still be students. We start holding space for others when we so desperately need someone to hold space for us. We jump off the cliff before we learn how to operate a parachute. We find the said parachute fully open at the bottom of a cave, we see how easy it is for other people to pack it up, strap it on, climb atop a mountain and jump. And we emulate. Except the parachute is not our size, not folded properly and not even attached to our back as it should be. And then we wonder how come others can do it but we cannot.
Guys, the job of a healer will gut you to your core. It will take you down into the deepest darkness and into the brightest light. If you have any fears, judgements, stereotypes, rules, limitations, attachments, it will multiply them to infinity. You will witness and feel everything your clients feel. If there’s any hook within yourself for an energy to attach to, it will. Anything you have that is not healed will be magnified. Any entities your clients have, you will pick up and hold. And then those entities will eat at you because you don’t yet know how to handle them.
Everything your client is going through will be magnified within your own being when you are still going through your personal healing. Some of us can do it, yes. Especially if we had training in similar modalities and know to to handle the energies. But for most of us, being a student, a child, a teenager, a hurt adult, a shadow, a higher self, a spirit and a teacher at the same time is almost impossible.
Yes, we never fully come out of any of these roles. Every healer is always dealing with his or her own life. There’s no such thing as “fully healed” in this 3D world. Maybe not even in the 5D world either. But with time, a certain amount of clarity is obtained and a certain detachment or space is created in which a healer can navigate. A lightness is found and a personal power is welded.
The freedom, the love, the service, it’s all there. The message and the work are important and perhaps inevitable. Just not immediately. It takes time, work, effort and humility. Humility in the fact that before opening our mouths to teach someone, anything, we must be sure that we, ourselves are functioning well and are deserving the title of a teacher. Helping someone is a great responsibility, not just to that person but to ourselves. If we are not in a good space, if we do not know how to manage our own energy, we will suffer. And we will cause suffering for our clients.
How do we know if we are ready? Unfortunately there’s no test or authority (seen or unseen) that can give you the answer. However, I have observed that people who have found success in this work have embodied and a truly living the following concepts.
1. There’s no longer a distinction between darkness and light. There’s no such thing good or bad, right or wrong. The darkness no longer scares you and the light no longer fascinates you. There’s no heaven and no hell. Angels and demons are one and the same. Everything is simply energy. The choice becomes which energy you choose to alight yourself with.
2. There’s no longer a right or a wrong way to heal or really to do anything. Plant medicine – no plant medicine, meditation – no mediation, exercise – no exercise, vegan – meat eater, talking through the process – just quietly holding somebody’s hand, step by step guidance – simply being, asking questions – providing the answers, helping – letting go, movement – stillness. It’s all simply energy that has its place, time and applications.
3. There is an innate understanding that the healing modalities that work for you most likely will not work for most other people. But they will work for some and these are the people you will attract, if you follow your truth. If you don’t, you will attract people, who like you, are lying to themselves. And that’s fine too. We often do need to become blind and deaf for a while. There’s nothing wrong with that.
4. Rituals become unimportant. You may still follow them because you enjoy the process but it’s no longer about the ritual itself.
5. You no longer need to explain your choices and actions to anyone. You do not need approval, support, proof, feedback or even a thank you. Positive and negative client testimonials do nothing for your self esteem. You drop all fears and judgments – of other healers, clients, friends, yourself. No one is a competitor, no one can harm you, no one can love love you more than you you love yourself.
6. Your immediate survival is not dependent on this work. Because otherwise you will compromise sooner or later.
7. There’s a full embodiment of the fact that you are absolutely unimportant. And neither is anyone else. And that there are no answers. We are simply a part of a bigger picture which our human brain cannot understand. There is no single explanation for anything. Everything is simply a system, a theory, a framework in which to function and which boundaries to push or to pull. All we can do is simply go through this existence with as much love and kindness as we can, avoiding sharp rocks and seeking out each other. Sometimes we borrow another person’s parachute, sometimes we lend ours and sometimes we share one.
8. Pain is no longer necessary. Healing can be fun and joyful. We can heal more through song than we can through tears. Diving into the darkness is not always needed and when it’s done, it’s performed quickly, effectively, tactically and with a specific purpose.
9. The mind cannot heal the mind. We cannot use reason to heal our emotions. It is the ebb and flow of the divine feminine that holds the key to our collective healing. Softness, gentleness, curiosity, kindness and nurture and love. Mother Earth will do what it must. We can accept it or fight it. Our choice.
9. And finally, when you can look a person in the eyes and reflect their love back to them, when you can help a person stop fearing their own power and see their beauty, and when that gives you neither pleasure nor pain, that’s when you are ready. And that when the universe will indeed support you. Because here finally, you will need to such support.
And that’s the paradox of this dualistic world we live in. When a healers work becomes unimportant at a personal level, that’s when it shakes the entire universe and turns the world upside down.