Misc musings
On Worry
Worry comes as a result of expectations. We worry because something may not happen, we worry because something may happen. When we give up our attachment to expectations, we give up the unnecessary worrying, freeing up time and energy for action and enjoyment.
Whenever that familiar feeling of worry washes over me, I say hello old friend, thank you for stopping by but now please leave. For you see, I have a problem that I can do something about, so I don’t need to worry. And even if there were nothing I could do, then I wouldn’t need to worry either.
On Discoveries
I always wonder whether what we call a “discovery” is truly new knowledge or just remembrance of something long forgotten.
On Judgement
By judging someone we are protecting ourselves from that person. We are firing the proverbial first shot. If I judge them first then they won’t be in a position to judge me.
On Fear and control
Fear can be passed down from past generations, created through a traumatic experience or imagined. The ego fears the unknown so it will make up the worst scenarios and then work out a way to resolve them. The need to control stems from fear. When we are in a fight or flight mode, we have a great need to control. The opposite is also true. With flexibility the need to control diminishes. Often when we find ourselves in a new or uncomfortable situation, we trigger our fight or flight mechanism.
We become hyper vigilant, always on the lookout for danger. Whenever this happens, stop and ask yourself: is the danger real or perceived? What are my choices here? What are some ways I can manage and react? How can I replace my need to control with choices
On connecting to Spirit
To be better connected to the other side you must have a very firm grip on your own life on this side.
On finding beauty
I met a man who told me how he used to live on a beach front property in Southern California, yet he had not watched the sunset even once because he was so busy working. One of the benefits of being humans on earth is that we get to experience beauty. It does not take up a lot of time to do this, just look up when you are walking from your car to the store, look around when walking the dog, turn off the news for 5 minutes and listen to music, smell your food and chew it a little slower… How do you find beauty throughout your day?
On stuff and posessions
I don’t own stuff, I lease it. Owning things means I must hang on to them permanently. Leasing means I can use them for as long as I want and then make room for something else. Well technically, I do purchase my car, clothes, home, food, furniture and so on. But for me, there’s no permanence in stuff. I have the freedom to use stuff in any way I want for as long as as I want. Once I’m done, even if the item is in perfect shape, I have the freedom to get rid of it. Same thing with emotions. Once I’m done processing my emotions, I give myself the freedom to release them. What was the biggest thing you released, either physically or emotionally?
On clearing clutter
This time of year and in the spring I like to go through my closet and locate items I had not worn for 15 months or longer. I look for dresses I had not worn for 2 summers, sweaters I had not worn for 2 winters, shoes, and so on. Those I either donate to charity or send to recycling. I do the same with my cabinets, everything I had not used for 15 months goes. Clearing out old things helps me clear my mind as well. By releasing the clothes I’m no longer using I’m also releasing my emotions that are no longer needed. My biggest closet detox resulted in the liberation of 124 hangers. What was your largest home or closet detox?
On listening to your dad
My dad has always been safety conscious. When we lived on the 17floor, he put a wooden grid on our window so we would not fall out. At springtime we were not allowed to walk right next to buildings for fear of icicles falling off the roof (in a northern city this is quite common and very dangerous). When walking the dog we were to never wrap his leash around our hands because this would prevent us from letting go in an emergency. This last one quite possibly saved my hand and prevented my dog from decapitation. One day after walking the dog I got into the elevator and pushed the button to take me to my floor. As the doors were closing, the dog ran out the door without tripping the safety sensors. The doors closed, the elevator began to ascend with me inside holding the leash of my dog, who was now outside. Immediately remembering my dad’s daily words, I just let go of the leash. The elevator went up while the leash slipped out the door leaving the dog where he was and me where I was. A few minutes later, I returned to find my dog patiently waiting by the elevator.
On painful histories
Sometimes we hold the energy of something when is is not our job or purpose to do so. Some came to earth for the purpose of holding the energy of the pain and destruction so that we may learn and never forget. I call such people record keepers. Steven Spielberg, Elie Weisel and many historians are such examples. But not everyone’s destiny is that of a record keeper. Some souls came to earth in order to raise the vibrations, thereby holding space and supporting those who are record keepers. Ask yourself: “what am I.”
On strategies and making choices
When faced with an uncomfortable situation, look for a strategy that will give you choices, not an escape. Undesirable situations come up, such is life. Developing your ability to create strategies that offer you choices will decrease your need to control. Control is a defense mechanism, choices offer solutions. The ability to make choices will desensitize the automatic reaction to stimulation and avoid the triggering of fight or flight. When faced with uncertainty, ask yourself: what strategy can I employ that will give me flexibility? What decision, what action will give me a choice?
On resentment
We resent because not getting our needs met. We offer time and energy to another person but get nothing in return. We resent because don’t see equal exchange of energy. We silently wish for another person to do something for us in return and then resent him or her for not reading our mind and not giving us what we silently need. How do we avoid resentment? By giving freely, should we choose to give. By having no expectation to receive anything in return, not even a thank-you. Also, by communicating our needs with the assumption that people are not mind readers and do not know what we want or what we need unless we tell them. And by never, ever doing something for another person with the expectation that they will fill some void within us. For no other person can truly understand what it is that we are lacking. If we cannot give freely or are not getting an equal energy exchange then we must walk away and focus our energy elsewhere.
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